Broken Trust

Damage Caused and the Family It Separated

“Trust compared to a valuable stone that has been shattered, cannot be restored to its original form.”
__ Ellen J. Barrier

If someone commit a wrongful act against you, and you forgive him or her, does it mean you should trust that person?

Story:                        Brother Sexually Assault His Sister and Shows No Remorse

On this particular day, Amnon who is sexually attracted to his sister Tamar, has raped her by tricking their father into allowing her to be alone with him through false pretense. Amnon pretended to be sick, in order to carry out his deceitful plan: When his father came to visit him, he said to him, "I pray thee, let Tamar my sister come, and make me a couple of cakes in my sight, that I may eat at her hand." Then David sent home to Tamar, saying "Go now to your brother Amnon house and dress him meat."

So Tamar went to her brother Amnon house: and he was laid down. And she took flour and kneaded it, and made cakes in his sight and did bake the cakes. And she took a pan and poured them out before him: but he refused to eat. And Amnon sent all the men out.  And he said to Tamar, “Bring the meat into the chamber, that I may eat of your hand.” And she took the cakes to him.  He then, took hold of her, and said, “Come lie with me my sister.” And she replied, “No, my brother, do not force me.” She tried desperately to convince Amnon that such and act was considered to be against their family values. 

She asked him, “Whither shall I cause my shame to go?”  Ignoring her, he forced himself on her and raped her.

After Amnon had raped his sister Tamar, he treated her with cruelty: She was banished from his home. Then Amnon hated her exceedingly: so that the hatred he now had for her, was greater than the love wherewith he loved her.  And Amnon said to her, “Arise, be gone.”

And Tamar said to Amnon, “There is no cause: This evil in sending me away is greater than the other that you did to me.”  In response, he kicked her out of his house and locked the door behind her.

On that day Tamar being a virgin, was wearing a garment of multi-colors, which was the tradition of her culture.  Having become a victim of sexual assault with cruelty, she became heartbroken and in pain and sorrow: and Tamar put ashes on her head, and rent her garment and laid her hand on her head crying.

 Tamar’s Brother Absalom Comes to Her Defense

When Absalom saw Tamar he asked her, "Has Amnon been with you?" Then he said to her, "Hold now your peace my sister, he is your brother." And he took her to live with him. So Tamar remained desolate in her brother Absalom home.

The Damage Caused

When David heard of the wrongful act Amnon had done to Tamar, he was very wrath.
Absalom hated Amnon, and refused to communicate with him. And  he planned to kill Amnon for raping their sister, Tamar.

The Separation of Family

As planned, Absalom had his brother Amnon, killed for raping Tamar.
Two years later, after Amnon had raped Tamar, Absalom had a Ball-Hazar, and invited Amnon with their father's consent. He instructed his men to watch Amnon for intoxication of wine, and at his command to “Kill him” further informing his men, to show no fear, to be courageous and valiant.

After Absalom had Amnon put to death, he fled to Geshur, and was there three years. And the soul of his father, King David longed to see him, but refused to visit him. He was very angry with Absalom for the death of Amnon. 

King David decided to invite Absalom back home conditionally: He was to go to his own house. He was not permitted to see his father’s face. After having been back home for two years, Absalom became disappointed with his father for distancing himself from him, and sent him this message:

“Wherefore, am I come from Geshur? It had been good for me to have been there still: now let me see the king’s face; and if there be any iniquity in me, let him kill me. “

Trust is the foundation every successful relationship is built upon.
When trust is broken, that relationship is unstable, it has become weaken.
The survival of a broken trust relationship is questionable.

Written by Ellen J. Barrier
Story Background: II Samuel 13 & 14 chapters

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